Are you a people pleaser?

When you begin to understand your shortcomings as a man, it starts to change your entire way of thinking about yourself and others. You begin to learn who to value and why, but more importantly you learn to value yourself the most. 

I've spent most of my life being a people pleaser. Not to say you shouldn't do right by people, but stop living your life to please them while making yourself miserable. That's not doing right by you. It turns you bitter or jaded. I would know! 😬 It seems the more I've read recently, I'm not the only one!  The good news is, there's a fix. It takes a lot of effort and I'm not going to pretend I'm there yet either, but putting your needs first is the best thing you can do to begin to correct this problem.  But let's be honest...if you're falling into this category, chances are you've got some other things in common with me. (I mean the old me!)

You may also be struggling with relationships or friendships as well. Always feeling like no one respects you...or at least not as much as you think they should...right?  Oddly enough that's your own ego talking. Shut it down. It's only going to make things worse.  You may think of yourself as a "nice guy"...you're not. Because what happens when you're rejected ("friend zoned")? You become nasty guy. You become bitter, and you turn into the very thing you've spent a lifetime professing to hate...you become an asshole. Why? EGO. It's not just your ego, but that's a big part of it. What else? Well you problably think that doing all these nice things will win you some favor right?  Wrong. It's usually doing the opposite. I know...I didn't wanna hear that either, but it's usually true. So what's the fix? Being honest with yourself is a good start. Now personally, it does make me happy to give and do things for people, and I genuinely like to make people happy, BUT...I can't continue to do that at the expense of my own sanity. If you just agree with everything someone says or wants to do, it makes you a pushover and they'll naturally just lose respect for you. It's not a purposeful thing. It's not malicious. It's just how we're wired. As for other aspects of this...you can't expect something in return when you give. And when you don't get something in return and get mad about it (here comes the asshole again) you can't freak out and act like someone owes you something. They don't. Get over it. No one owes you a damn thing. Period! 

Something to help all of this, and what I've been trying to focus on...discover your purpose. Job, hobby, charity work, whatever! Find something(s) you're passionate about and focus on them. A lot of the issues will begin to correct themselves because you don't have time to worry about anything else!!

I'm writing this for me and anyone else that needs a dose of reality. This is more aimed at guys, but I'm sure the ladies can relate on some level to this.

Here are my takeaways from this...

1. Love yourself first. 

2. Focus on keeping your ego in check. 

3. Discover your purpose and focus on it. 

4. No one owes you anything. 

5. You can do anything you put your mind to. Let the bitterness and negativity go. Let the positive vibes flow. 

Hope this helps someone! It will definitely serve as a great reminder to me. Excuse my ADHD writing style. It's hard to stay on topic sometimes. If you have any questions, text or fb message me and I'll do my best to explain. I'm new to this also, but I've flipped my outlook on life upside down the last month or so and I want others that need it to experience the happiness that this has brought me.